Consult nearest psychiatrist as you require detailed counseling session and you may require medications to solve your problem... Do not loose hope our life is like book if few pages of it torn means you can not throw the whole book... There are certain things which can't be discussed here in public forum... Consult psychiatrist and With that fallow relaxation techniques like yoga, meditation,avoid alcohol, smoking, coffee, tea...have good sleep and develop healthy food habits..good luck.