Hi. I went through your query in detail and can understand what you must be going through. Negative thoughts, crying spells, anxiety, headache are all symptoms of underlying depressive disorder. The issue with any treatment will be that you need to complete the treatment. Moreover, considering your symptoms, adequate treatment will include not only psychotherapy but also medications. You should consult a psychiatrist and accordingly initiate the treatment.

Hi seems like too many repressed thoughts are bothering you now. I also feel that we are trying too hard to avoid or ignore our thoughts which is further increasing the thoughts, it's like a vicious cycle. I suggest that the moment you have thoughts instead of trying to ignore them let them be in the background and distract yourself with certain activities that you liked earlier, it's going to be very difficult but you have to train your mind( remember focus is not on ignoring the thoughts but on overanalyzing things in the environment for eg over focus on music or any serial). I am sure your online Psychologists must have also taught some relaxation exercises, however of online sessions didn't benefit your u I suggest one detailed face to face session with a Psychologist following which your treatment plan can be decided. I have also seen that a lot my clients feel this has become a permanent part of your personality but it's not true just like any others medical problem these symptoms will go away with treatment. You can also consult me if you want.