Hello, I can understand the distress and fear you are going through. However please know that suicide is not the solution, it surely is not the only way out. Please consult with a psychiatrist near you for comprehensive assessment and further management. The fear that is bothering you can be understood and helped. In all likelihood a combination of medication and psychological intervention would be required to help you. Do not lose hope, help can be available to you, just make the first step to seek consultation. Hope this helps you, best wishes for your health and future..