Hi... During this pandemic many people have lost their loved ones and a lot of them also suffer from one or the other form of guilt associated with their loss. The nature of this virus is such it is going to infect everyone sooner or later. The only difference now is that most people are fully vaccinated so the effects of this virus is minimal. Your mother was vulnerable to this virus more compared to you maybe because of her age or maybe because of some precondition, but the fact is that she was vulnerable and her body was supposed to respond in this manner when she gets infected by this virus. You were only a medium. No one was consciously carrying the virus to infect other people. It was a wrong narrative spread by the media/govt. bodies while trying to desperately delay its spread till the time people get vaccinated.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
CBT along with Interpersonal Guidance & Counselling is required.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fECHB08?ref=cl