Was any situation in your life in which you couldn't come team urban duty and that created a mess in somebody's life .  Maybe you didn't do it wanted or intentionally, still the consequences could have been very serious.  I  feel if you could share ur feelings to a neutral person like Counsellor /Psychologist uou might get some clarity and handle your situations better

It can be panic attacks, feeling of excessive guilt can be a part of depression, consult a psychologist or Psychiatrist