Hello Friend, thanks for reaching out here for help. Yes, I can understand your suitation. Any  past memory with an emotional hurts is bit difficult to forget. But what's important is to look at "present", like his behavior, his commitment. Holding onto the past will impact the future of 3 lives. May be you need to look two step solutions. One to get yourself out of this bad patch memories. Second, get your husband out of drinking habits. To do this probably you may need a guidance and help. If you may seek this within your friends or family  and alternatively you can choose a couple counselor to assess your suitation and recommend options.

Need family counselor