I really appreciate that you are taking the initiative to help yourself after what happened. The fact that you are here asking for a way out shows that you want to battle this, and I am really inspired.
You have been through a trauma and it will be difficult to cope with it. It sounds like you have symptoms of depression. I would suggest you take a professional help.
Next Steps
Take professional help sooner than later.
Health Tips
Try not to isolate your self although its difficult for you. Be around people you trust.