Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. Holding on such emotional disturbance within you is not advisable as any emotional imbalance can affect physical health conditions.
First Consult a psychologists to ventilate or express your emotions, feelings, concerns to assess yourself and figure out the actual reasons or root cause. In such discussions, you will also explore a suitable solution that you can follow to overcome these problems.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologists directly or reach out to me online through Practo app which should be convenient and easy to discuss issues openly and identify suitable solution that you can follow practically. Be confident. You will be alright soon.