Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help. I can understand your suitation. When you are depressed, your mind will be clouded with negativity. In such suitations don't be conclusive and think about any hasty decisions. It's good to ask for help and you are doing the right thing by approaching here. Don't hesitate to take the next step to talk to a psychologists in detail about your emotions, feelings and concerns. Surely a holistic assessment will help you to explore suitable solutions that can solve your multiple problems one by one. All you need is a trigger to consult and commitment to follow the recommendations. Choose online consultation first, which should be easy and convenient in such your case to open up.

Hi the way ur expressing it's episode of depression for sure. But it will help u more if u consult any psychiatrist personally ASAP and get ur evaluation done properly it's for ur own safety and wellbeing. It can get worsen more so don't delay it.  Tc