I am able to understand ur difficulties. Many of the symptoms which u have mentioned is seen in people with depression and anxiety. Depressive illnesses can recur if preventive strategies r not taken. It drains out the motivation or drive in a person. Don't feel guilty that it's ur mistake, it is mainly because of some chemical changes in the brain. V would need to know few more details abt ur problems like ur sleep, hunger, energy levels, interest etc to give appropriate suggestions. Ur problems can easily be treated with counselling and if needed medications. Don't let ur problems affect ur personal or family life. U can also consult me online through the chat option. There r also provisions to prescribe medications if needed in the online chat option. Best wishes for speedy recovery!!