I was sexually attracted to my family from age 10.i would touch them inappropriately.later stopped.when I reached 14 or 15 was sexually attracted to my sister.i would touch her inappropriately when playing and when asleep I would put my hand inside her dress.and later feel guilty.but would forget soon and treat her as my sister.i did not want to abuse my sister but was really sexually attracted to her as I was emotionally connected.she is a year younger.i was overprotective of her.but I don't understand why I did this..I stopped doing this by 16..and did this once or twice.now I'm 21.i am matured and feel guilty of doing it.i grew without any exposure to outer world only with my sister and mom around.i protected my sister from everyone but don't know why I did this.i felt guilty and let my mom and sister knew.they said they were never aware of this and consoled me.but I feel guilty and shameful.i did not want to abuse but was really attracted to her.i want to die now.pls help me asap