Hi. After reading Ur description I was able find out you are now struck with some of worst experiences on having a relationship. They moment u broke down when a loved one cheated u and a mistrust has formed due to certain situations. The affection and care u got is not enough since there were mishappenings of Ur partner, you are depressed. This  would lead to cry, worry , get sad, anger and finally u get pushed into loneliness and depression Pls see a clinical psychologist immediately as u alone cannot come out of the issue