Hi ma'am, I'm sorry for the life situation you faced before and the current issues you are having. The information you have provided seems to be the symptoms of common mental health issues like OCD, depression however detailed evaluation is required.
Please, do seek help from a professional. Mental health issues are treatable.
Next Steps
Consult a psychiatrist.
Health Tips
https://www.practo.com/delhi/doctor/sharon-narula-psychiatrist