Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. When have exhausted with your options, it's better to ask for help. As you are emotionally disturbed already , you can't clearly see the alternative available in front of you to resolve your issues. Don't be conclusive to take any hasty decisions.
Take a professional psychology support in such suitations. In such open discussions, you can first ventilate your emotions, feelings and concerns and also can figure out the root cause for your problem and suitable solutions to overcome.
Don't hesitate to consult.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologists directly or online. Feel free to reach out to me online through Practo app for further detailed evaluation and suitable solutions that you can follow practically to overcome this problem. Be positive. You will be alright soon.