So, this is going to be a rollarcoaster so get ready. You know how we make movies in our heads before we go to sleep? In mine I end up getting raped by someone the boy I'm trying to get in my "movie" is close to or I'm raped as a cause of something he did then he gives me sympathy afterwards. Its never him and it isn't sexual. I feel like there's some deep rooted issues there so idk.