It would be useful to identify your social supports. Who are your immediate social supports? It is important to make a support network like neighbours, friends. One can do that by fixing a time when one goes for a walk or to the local temple daily. Also remember how you treat your children will affect their personalities. So if you are patient and set clear rules for them, they will learn to be organised and patient. If you beat them, they will learn that anger is okay. Try Relaxation exercises on YouTube or Meditation from a local organisation. Remember that your in laws may criticise you but if you stay calm, go out for meditation or a walk or to a friend, you will be able to deal with them more effectively. See a counsellor in your area.

I think you have other unresolved  issues of ur childhood which tigers you when u happen to meet someone like him. Please do consult a Psychological Counsellor  and understand yourself better.