Hello there. are you sexually active? if no, then how do you say that your sex life is bad. what you are saying about automatic discharge of sperm is called night falls in common language, its just a normal phenomenon which is seen in people who do not masturbate or not sexually active. don't worry about that. once you are married and become sexually active, you will automatically feel better and "hardness" also. just drink lots of water and have a well balanced diet with lots of fruits and vegetables. regards.