Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. I can understand your suitation. Don't be decisive based on opinions and bring down yourself. Sometimes in relationships matters you can't satisfy everyone ego.
Better to ask for help when you are emotionally disturbed and confused. It's good to ventilate your emotions, feelings and concerns in such suitations to relief and also get an clarity in your mind to prioritize your next steps.
Next Steps
Take a counseling help. Feel free to reach me online for further evaluation and recommendation.