Hello, I can understand this must be frustrating for you. I hope you are seeing psychiatrist & a clinical psychologist.
Here’s few things you can do along with your therapist’s recommendations.
1.Try to name your Emotions, is there guilt, anxiety, fear. Just name it.
2. Focus on the body sensations. You can pay attention to your sensations without any reaction. (Like this is bad, I don’t want this thought, this is so painful all these are reactions).
Try to accept the sensations. Be ‘Observing self’. It will help you to separate from your thoughts.
3. Do not afraid of your thoughts. ‘Those are your thoughts not facts.’ If we give too much importance to them then we’ll get caught up in the cycle.
4. Thoughts you are having are automatic thoughts, you can’t control them, but you can control deliberate thinking. Which you are continuing. Example, why I’m having this thought, oh I’m such a bad person, this is so bad and so on… (it starts with one thought/image but then we choose to continue it)
Try to understand the difference between thoughts which are coming automatically & which you are continuing afterwards(deliberate thinking).
5. Diffusion techniques are powerful for reducing the intensity of obsessive thoughts
-Do not give importance to meaning of that image.
(For your speaking habit I need to know more details)
These thoughts & images doesn’t make you a bad person. You are worthy. Be gentle with yourself. :)
Next Steps
Take help from a clinical psychologist (RCI registered) & psychiatrist.
Health Tips
Ask for help, don’t be harsh on yourself. You have strength to overcome it.