First of all the past is past. Don't let it hamper your present. You yourself are the source of happiness and no one else. You have that in you the only thing to do is to find the way to reach the core!
Next Steps
Kindly visit any of psychologist at your place.
Health Tips
Life is above all! U have options if you life. U have happiness if you have life. U have everything if you have life. So don't ever think of harming self or others.