Hello Friend, thanks for reaching out here for help. I feel you need an immediate help. Unfortunately, we are not able to understand you problem or question clearly. You may need to consult a local psychiatrist.

Hi I appreciate your positive approach here. I understand your feeling difficult to express in this forum due to language or other issues. But I could feel you might be going through tough time. You can take the help of psychologist who can communicate in your language and help you to handle yourself better in any situation. Take care stay positive.