Dear you, We can't control other people's choices. We can't ask them to go and come as we wish or find reasonable. All we can do it focus on our actions. And love is about giving. You can give yourself a chance if it works out well you will be proud of yourself. If it doesn't move on and let the nature decide for you. And from your narration it feels that you are scared of losing a support. Time to form a relation with self.