Congratulate yourself you have taken the first step,usually people shy away and then the life becomes a well learnt drudgery. Also appreciate your concern about your wife being tired.Now what is to be done .With your account it seems you have very different value systems and the communication pattern is faulty or probably non existant,all this is building up your frustration against each other.
Next Steps
Seek couple therapy immediately, you may see the therapist individually initially and then together.
Health Tips
look out for common interests ,make a list of the household chores that get piled up ,start working from there.