Hello dear,
What you have just described are emotional and behavioral issues which may be associated with adjustment disorder, depressive episode, or acute psychotic episode. Hence my strong suggestion and request to you is to please seek a consultation with a psychiatrist near you for comprehensive assessment and further management. Self harm ideas should be seen very seriously nmand please do not hesitate or delay in seeking help... A psychiatrist can help you get out of the current situation..
Hope this helps you. Best wishes for your health and future..
Next Steps
in the meanwhile please do not remain isolated, rather reach out and be around people who care for you.