Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. Marriage is definitely a personal choice. But you need to be clear about  your  needs and wants in this relationship. Arranged or love marriage is still an option, but until you are not clear on the expectations, both can be a trouble for you. First you need to clear and accept any past bad experiences or relationship issue  before engaging into such long-term relationships. Suggest you to take a professional marriage counselling support to assess yourself. I am sure, with a open discussions you will be able to see a different prepective about yourself and about your problem. Feel free to reach out to me online for further evaluation and recommendation. Be positive. You will be alright soon.

As you feel, yes,   life and situations are so uncertain. Also, it gives us some hope, by designing our own dreams and goals. For a better clarity and understanding, you can contact me, as I am in Bengaluru.

Feeling low, having crying spells, sleep and appetite disturbances, and difficulty in concentration and attention are some of the signs of Depression. Consult a Psychiatrist for a detailed assessment. It is likely with medication and counselings the symptoms will improve. If you are feeling suicidal or hopeless consult a Psychiatrist immediately.

Hi, It seems you have had bad past experiences which is not letting you move further. but these negative belief pattern needs to change for a happy future. you need cognitive behavioral therapy consult me or any psychologist for same all the best seek help. you will be fine