Hi Wat u just described are typical of a negative state of mind. Anger is just a reaction of so much going on in ur mind. All of us are equipped with certain coping mechanism in place dat save us from decompensating in thr face of adversities. Then comes a point beyond which we decompensate given that stress still plays some role ( physical or mental). In this state it is simply not possible to control our thoughts and look beyond the obvious as positive. The gud news is that this a completely curable condition. Requires treatment in the form of either medicines or counselling ( CBT) or both. All u got to do do is consult a psychiatrist whom u believe in and thus enable ur recovery as per the advice given.. Becos u r needed to be understood as a person rather than a patient to help u in totality. I guess this helps u but feel free to consult further. Take care Good luck.