I understand your situation. You seem to be suffering from depressive symptoms. However information regarding your sleep, hunger, energy levels and concentration at whatever you do would be more helpful to decide the severity of your condition. If you are suicidal you should seek immediate psychiatric assistance. It is easily manageable with appropriate treatment. Some counselling sessions along with medical help also might be useful for you. I would also be more than happy to help you with that if you are looking for online assistance. Discussions will be held confidential. You can directly consult with me through Practo as needed. Online chat consultation is available.

Some mental health disorder do produce some pessimistic thoughts with death wishes. Dese r due to d neurochemical imbalance in your brain. However dese r treatable condition. Consult a psychiatrist online or in person for detailed evaluation n treatment.