Hello As you explained it seems that you are going through a depressive phase. You are suffering from unbearable pain. You are not feeling that you are needed. But if you are existing than there is a reason for it. You have to find out the reason. Because of your mental state you might not be able to do so at the moment. And it will be difficult to come out of these phase by your own. Take professional help. I won't suggest you to start medications at the moment. I would rather request you to visit a clinical psychologist. Clinical Psychologists are trained people who can help you in thorough evaluation and inner healing. They will help you to find out solutions, better coping strategies and good insight.