I can understand how exhausting it must be to carry these struggles for such a long time. From what you've described, you're dealing with a combination of anxiety, rumination (overthinking), fear of rejection, low self-worth, emotional distress, and difficulties in relationships. Over time, these patterns can make it difficult to trust yourself, feel secure in relationships, and stay focused on daily tasks.
The tendency to repeatedly analyze situations, question your worth, and worry about how others perceive you can create a cycle where anxiety fuels procrastination, procrastination increases self-criticism, and self-criticism further affects confidence and motivation.
Your concerns around love, relationships, and emotional connection may also be influenced by past experiences, attachment patterns, or fears of being hurt, rejected, or abandoned. These fears can create mental blocks even when you genuinely want closeness and connection.
The existential thoughts you're experiencing—questioning meaning, purpose, and life itself—can sometimes emerge during periods of emotional distress, uncertainty, or prolonged self-reflection. They do not necessarily mean something is wrong with you, but they can feel overwhelming when combined with anxiety and emotional struggles.
Next Steps
Begin exploring the connection between your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors rather than trying to fight or suppress them.
Identify recurring patterns in relationships, especially fears of rejection, abandonment, or not being "good enough."
Work on building self-awareness and self-compassion instead of relying solely on external validation.
Consider a professional assessment if concentration difficulties, procrastination, and attention issues have been persistent across different areas of life.
Seek counselling to explore emotional patterns, relationship concerns, self-esteem, and existential questions in a structured way.
Health Tips
Avoid treating every thought as a fact. Many anxious thoughts are possibilities, not realities.
Try to notice when you are ruminating rather than problem-solving.
Focus on small, manageable actions instead of waiting to feel motivated.
Build a routine that includes sleep, movement, and meaningful activities.
Practice self-compassion when you notice self-critical thoughts.
Important:
Be cautious about self-diagnosing attention issues based solely on concentration difficulties. Anxiety, emotional distress, burnout, and overthinking can significantly affect focus and productivity. A proper assessment can help differentiate between attention-related concerns and anxiety-driven difficulties.
The positive thing is that these patterns are understandable and treatable.