You need appropriate therapy so you consult with psychologist

Consult psychotherapist

It seems to be post traumatic psychological changes leading to anxiety and depression. It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated, and can affect your and your kid's life. You need a room for ventilation and expression of feelings and thoughts which are being suppressed currently. It can be well treated with a holistic approach for complete recovery. It can be well addressed with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects. You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.

Hi, I'm truly sorry you're going through such intense pain and distress. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to face this alone; reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a counselor or therapist, can help you process these overwhelming emotions, manage anxiety, and find a safe way to cope with your situation. They can also support you in navigating your feelings about your relationship and the thoughts of ending it. It’s understandable to feel lost and blame yourself, but seeking help can provide clarity and strength. Try to focus on taking small steps for self-care—like eating, resting, and talking to someone you trust—because your well-being matters. Remember, your feelings are valid, and with support and guidance, you can work through this difficult time and find a way to heal and rebuild your strength.

What you are describing sounds extremely overwhelming, and I want you to know that your reactions are understandable given what you’ve been through. The shivering, chest tightness, fear, loss of sleep and appetite are signs that your nervous system is in survival mode—not a sign of weakness. The fact that suicidal thoughts are recurring is very important, and you did the right thing by reaching out to helplines earlier. You don’t have to face this alone. This situation needs immediate emotional support through regular counselling, and if possible, a psychiatric consultation to help stabilise sleep, anxiety, and thoughts.

You need a good counselling therapy

I’m really sorry you’re going through this much pain and fear. The shaking, buzzing in ears, chest tightness sound like severe anxiety, not weakness. Losing your mother and having no safe person to talk to can intensify everything. Being blamed constantly can make anyone feel trapped and hopeless. The fact that you reached out to helplines shows strength and a will to live. Recurring suicidal thoughts mean you need consistent professional support, not silence. Your 11-year-old needs you alive, not perfect—just present step by step. This relationship seems to be harming your mental health, and that matters.

Consultation with me is advised

Hi, Consult a psychiatrist

I am really sorry you are going through such a painful and overwhelming time. The anxiety, fear, chest tightness, sleep and appetite issues you describe are common reactions to intense emotional stress and betrayal. This does not mean anything is wrong with you. It means your mind and body are struggling to cope right now. The recurring suicidal thoughts you mentioned are an important sign that you need ongoing emotional support, not just helplines during crisis moments. I strongly encourage you to seek therapy with a mental health professional. Therapy can help you process what has happened, manage anxiety, and regain emotional stability. You do not have to make any decisions about your relationship immediately. Your wellbeing comes first. If at any point you feel unsafe or at risk of harming yourself, please reach out to someone you trust or seek immediate medical help. You deserve care, support, and relief from this pain.