You might be having post traumatic disorder. There are two institutions at your city in kanke area. Visit one of them.

Dear friend, A loss is very tough on the won who faces it. Not many others can understand it. The loss due to covid must have been shocking for you and two losses just makes it tougher. We usually take 6 months to a year or more to overcome the loss to a great extent but even then loss is loss. It is difficult. It is better if you can slowly start thinking that  the struggle they had due to covid was difficult and now they are not continuing with their pain and struggles. If you still feel you would like to speak to someone you should speak to a counseling psychologist. With Regards, Dr.Nisha James

It's very traumatic to face death of a loved one and one cannot accept it that someone very dear to you has left you forever.Besides bodily symptoms and changes it leaves a scar on your psyche.Your coping skills might be compromised by this event.

I hope you are well. The death of a loved one can be very traumatic for an individual. Naturally, the death of two people who've been your support system can be even more traumatizing. Grief comes in stages and it takes time to heal the wounds. The flashbacks suggest that your brain is trying to go back in time to see what you could have done to save them. With counselling, you should be able to feel better sooner after learning coping skills.

Grief is a very hard and very complex. You need to process your grief and let it heal in its own time. Don't be scared. Try to stick to an everyday routine. Speaking to a grief counsellor will help.