Hi,
I understand how deeply exhausted, hurt, and overwhelmed you feel. Carrying this for so many years, along with health struggles and feeling unheard can make everything feel unbearable.
What happened in the past matters, and your anger and grief are valid. At the same time, waiting for your parents to recognise or admit fault can keep you tied to that pain. Your healing does not have to depend on their awareness.
You should consult and in seeking an independent opinion from a qualified psychiatrist - psychologist this is an important step towards healing and making you feel better in managing what you are going through in a positive effective manner.
I also want to say this clearly: feeling like you want to die is a sign that the pain has become too intense, not that there is no way forward. You don’t have to manage this alone.
For now, keep it simple and focused:
• Create a basic daily structure (sleep, meals, small activity)
• Limit exposure to conflict where possible
• Stay connected to at least one safe person
• Take this one day at a time
With the right support and care, things can shift. Over time, you can begin to feel more stable, regain a sense of control, and build the tools needed to navigate and manage what you’re going through.
Health Tips
Start with very small, doable steps each day to rebuild a sense of control and reduce overwhelm. Write down your symptoms and experiences clearly so you can communicate them confidently during a medical review. Practice grounding techniques (like slow breathing or focusing on your senses) when thoughts feel too intense.