You are too young to feel dejected . You have just started your life and you need to give yourself some time to reach to where you wish to be . The fact that you are still looking for solutions to your issues means you have a strong desire to face the situation boldly . Existential turmoil is a part of everybody’s life now and we all need to learn to not let it affect us at the core . You still have many years to prove to yourself on career , it’s a beginning not the end . Whether others will reject you or not is a different story , but from what you say it seems that you are rejecting yourself . It’s contradictory .
Next Steps
Be comfortable with yourself . First you start treating yourself well and the world will follow . Don’t fear rejection . We don’t get everything we want but that should not stop us from trying for them. You must be able to express yourself because you want to share something , not for a reciprocation of your choice .
Health Tips
Smoking is not a solution to anything , in fact you are creating one more problem for the coming time . Stop smoking . Think good about yourself . Do justice to yourself and give yourself a good treatment . Follow your heart and speak your mind . Don’t expect anything in return . Life is beautiful only if you see it that way . You are only 20, long way to go .