Hello
I can understand the pain you are going through. Despite your best effort things are not going in your favor. Try to keep calm and when you are in best of your mood try conversing with friends, try telling them your issues they will definitely hear you out if they really care. Try maintaining a diary and in that write 5 positive things that happened with you on the same day be it as small as seeing a joke on messenger. This diary is for you and soon you will have a lot of positive energy with you. start appreciating yourself every time you tackle situation in a better way than last time. Have healthy food and maintain regular routine.
Next Steps
Consult a psychiatric clinic for better assesment of your problem and to deal with such situations.