Grief is an extremely traumatic experience, especially if the circumstances of the death are sudden or not natural. The loss of a loved one makes people lose grip on their control as well. To anchor themselves onto their sanity and for their survival, people tend to go through various emotions (some justifiable, some unreasonable) to try and make sense of their loss and gain some semblance of control. Anger and blame are a few of the more common emotions people feel after the loss of a loved one. Their feelings may not be right or justifiable, but the bereaved look for people to blame because they are looking for reasons. Reasons to justify the loss of their loved ones, and if there is not a natural or justifiable reason for their loss, they look for it anywhere they can find. This is where blame comes in.
Your mother lost someone who was incredibly close and dear to her. She feels an overwhelming amount of pain that she cannot justify or channel into something that might help her. Her constant anger and the need to blame someone is the only thing that she can use to make sense of her grief. Maybe her blame is misplaced or maybe it is rightly directed, but either way, it can be harmful to continue harbouring such intense emotions with no better outlet. Talk to your mother and try to understand her side of things so as to allow her to talk out her feelings. Suggest that she get therapy for her grief because working with a mental health practitioner to make sense of her pain and regain her sense of control will better equip her to deal with the emotions. It will also allow her to process her grief, let go of her anger and blame and practice forgiveness more truthfully.
Answered2021-04-22 20:49:47
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