Hi, Thanks for reaching out!
Your symptoms seem consistent with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
Thank you for sharing this here. It sounds like you're going through a really difficult and exhausting time. From what you've described- repeated handwashing until your skin is damaged, constant checking behaviors, and intrusive thoughts that cause anxiety and guilt, are signs of OCD, which is more than just being cautious or clean, it can really affect daily functioning, just like you're experiencing.
Next Steps
The good news is that OCD is treatable. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), particularly Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is considered the gold standard in treatment. In some cases, medications like SSRIs (prescribed by a psychiatrist) are also helpful.
Health Tips
You are definitely not alone in this, and it's very brave of you to ask for guidance. I strongly suggest you reach out to a mental health professional, a psychologist or psychiatrist, who can help assess this further and support you with the right treatment. The earlier you start, the better the outcome usually is.
Please take care of yourself, you deserve to feel free from this anxiety.