Hi. Having depressive episodes again after a gap means you are suffering from recurrent depressive disorder. Since, you are also having suicidal wishes, you should seek a Psychiatric consultation immediately and start treatment. Since this episode is a recurrence, you need to continue treatment longer than in usual cases.
Next Steps
Seek a Psychiatric consultation.
Health Tips
Make sure that you adhere to the treatment prescribed by your psychiatrist and don't stop it before he recommends it.