Hi
I believe u are definitely overwhelmed psychologically with all that u see ur self not being able to do or achieve or forget. Either way this will just push u more and more in the centre of the cyclone. U may feel desperate to get out of this but it's overpowering ur ability to move out and away. U will feel better if u can u burden ur mind by sharing and getting a fresh perspective on things u thought were just stuck.
Next Steps
Please get in touch with a psychiatrist / Clinical psychologist here or in ur city to enable ur freedom from all the stress u r current carrying.
Hope this helps. Feel free to connect for any further suggestion.