Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. Holding on any emotional issues within you is not adviced. It may outburst with as depression or anxiety and affects your overall health.
If you hesitate to speak to friends or family about your problem, then take a professional help like discuss with psychology expert like us. You will see a different perspective about yourself and about your problem and also suitable solutions to overcome.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologists directly or online through Practo which should be convenient and easy for your suitation. Feel free to reach out to me online through Practo app for further detailed evaluation and suitable solutions that you can follow practically to overcome this problem