Do you feel rhat you complying everything out of force..Or you don't want anybody to get hurt and apparently you are not happy at the end. Probably , I think , if you can visit a Psychologist in ur city and share your emotions you can get a clarity.

Hi, this approach is really sounds like a positive. I can understand since many years you are undergoing different emotional ups and down. Is there any specific reason you are so anxious, and it is for all the life situation whether professional or personal, resulting you are not happy/ enjoying your life. Everything in our life keep changing according to the circumstances or situations or people around. We need to try and manage the situation in better way to keep ourselves well being. Every body has the weakness they try to overcome by themselves or will take help from external sources. So please try to visit any psychologist near your area I am sure with counselling session you can over emotional disturbance and also will be empowered to handle your life situations in better way.

Your question implies the intensity of your distress and the fact that you need help. I appreciate your courage to vocalise your problem this is the first step what i would suggest is that it would do you good to meet a professional who could hear you out and help you shoulder your burden. Remember as a human it is always possible to turn around at any step for betterment.