Hi thanks for query and I appreciate your could acknowledge your concern in this platform. I understand your difficulty in socializing, there will be reasons for your behavior. Though I don't have the clarity in various areas but still I would like to suggest few things. It might be your scared or uncomfortable with the opposite people opinions, you may be having low self confidence, unaware about your self in different areas. In which you might hesitate to take any initiatives. You can take help from psychologist to identify your weaknesses or strengths to handle the situation. Take care stay positive.