Hi
I can understand how you are feeling, you need not feel bad for not being to help them.
You can't help people who are not seeking help.
About your thoughts and feelings, I think you may need Psychotherapy to rest these disturbing thoughts and feelings, we can plan about Medications if needed.
Consult a Psychiatrist or direct consult me.
So as to help you better...
Next Steps
Consult a Psychiatrist or direct consult me