Hi. Pls understand that certain problems should solved then and there. You have a confusion state unknowing wat to do and wat not to do. Several individuals like you tend to keep within themselves about the issues they have and how their heart feels sad for it. Unless you really a necessary step of getting counselling , you will feel down . It is not that he is blaming you, but ur self esteem and self confidence is too low. Never lose ur self concept. The reason being unhappy sad or scared shows that  ur are not strong enough to handle things. Pls get counselling. It will help. He may be good towards you. Try to find actual reasons. If you still feel he may break the relationship again u need to clarify on wat should be done. Think positively and have a nice day.

We have a tendency to overlook the good things in our life and get deeply affected by the negatives. You see pain has a way of lingering untill we let it you yourself said that you have somebody who is good in your life so you are scared that you might loose it or it may be that your mind is creating doubt if you even deserve it. I would suggest dwell on the good things that the negatives of the past loose it's significance. I would also suggest that you meet a professional therapist.