You seem to be having dominant thoughts of failure, assuming that people might make fun of you, devaluing and comparing yourself with others and many similar negativity. First and foremost break open the shell and mask around you and prepare yourself to face any situation.  Confusions between push-pull, vertical-horizontal etc are only your thoughts. Looks like you are in marketing or sales field.  Create an urge and aspiration to know and learn new terminologies within the industry. Read relevant books and talk openly with seniors and friends. Consult a Counselling Psychologist in your city who can help you boost your confidence,  self-esteem and channelise your thoughts towards constructive and positivity.  Your success,  sense of humour etc will follow.  First of all learn to have faith in yourself and love yourself. You are no less than anybody else.