I would suggest you start meditating for 15 mins per session, preferably twice a day. Also I want you to google and learn breathing techniques for anxiety and start practicing it once you realise your anger is surfacing, or even if it's there. Try practicing it while lying or sitting down if possible, this will not let your anger surface. Also, now when you have realized that your anger is out if control and is hurting your wife,and you want to improve yourself, this will automatically be helpful and overtime will control your issue. All the best.