Hello,
You seem to be focusing on the problems a lot rather than a solution.
you are unable to find any mental peace so please visit a psychiatrist.
It is always best when a professional can look into your issues and offer some suggestions .
since the doctor will not be involved with these emotinally they will have a 360 view of your issue and provide pracrical suggestions.
Health Tips
Better to visit a psychiatrist sooner before the problem becomes bigger.