Hello Friend, Good that your seeking a help. Good to hear your happiness after marriage. Yes, you are right, the fear of past can create some imbalance at your mind if not addressed . It's better to remove it  , so that you don't face such fear again. You may need a professional counselling guidance to get out of this. You can reach me online or go for f2f locally.

I think once you share your feelings with someone who is professionally trained, will make you feel better... Consult a psychologist..