I feel socially incapable that I run for solitude constantly. But even then my mind is ruined with shame and guilt. I was focussed on self realization but I got obsessed over it and found some spiritual hardenings that I crossed the limits and now its hard for me to even talk or express myself. I feel trapped for eternity. I know everything is in my mind, but its hard to control these existential thoughts. I want to focuss on work and live happy. But I'm unable to even start. I need somebody.