I understand your distressful situation. You seem to be suffering from ocd symptoms including counting and symmetry obsessions, leading onto depression causing anger. However more clarity is needed regarding your problem. Information regarding your sleep, hunger, energy levels and concentration at whatever you do would be more helpful to decide on the severity of your condition. Don't worry it is not your fault, it is the hormonal and chemical fluctuations in your brain which is taking a toll on your mental health. It is easily manageable with appropriate treatment, so that dysfunction due to the same can be reduced and your quality of life will improve. Some therapy sessions and if needed medical help might be useful for you. I would also be more than happy to help you with that if you are looking for online assistance. Discussions will be held confidential. You can directly consult with me through Practo as needed. Online chat consultation is also available.

Please see a psychologist and a psychiatrist if you need medication to overcome your disorder. Your anger could also be the cause of your disorder or it may be a fallout of it. Continued long term therapy can help you.