The first thing I want to say is Your Feelings Are Valid.
It's natural to feel upset and confused when the person you have feelings for shares intimate details of your relationship with someone else, especially if that person is of the opposite sex and it makes you uncomfortable. Your feelings of jealousy and insecurity, while challenging, are normal reactions in such situations.
I do see there is a lack of communication about the conflict issues.
Itâs important to communicate your feelings openly and honestly with her, without accusations or blaming. Expressing how you feel when she discusses your relationship with her male friend might help her understand your perspective. Try to have this conversation calmly and when you both have time to talk it out fully.
Along with working on the relationship, i would suggest you spend some time thinking about why you feel the way you do. Is it solely about her behavior, or do past experiences also play a role in how you're feeling? Understanding the root of your feelings can be a crucial step in addressing them. Seek help of a therapist (Couple's therapist) to understand about self and how you see relationships and how to resolve the conflicts
It's also worth considering the dynamics of your relationship. The foundation of any healthy relationship is mutual respect, trust, and understanding. If after expressing your concerns, the situation doesn't improve, or you feel that your feelings and needs are consistently sidelined, it might be worth reevaluating the relationship and considering if itâs contributing positively to your life.
Remember, your value does not depend on anyone else's approval or attention. Building a relationship with yourself, grounded in self-compassion and understanding, is just as important as any external relationship.
Next Steps
Set Boundaries: Itâs important to set healthy boundaries in any relationship. Clearly communicate your needs and limits. Understanding and respecting each other's boundaries can lead to a healthier and more satisfying relationship. Practice Mindfulness and Stress-Reduction Techniques: Mindfulness, meditation, and breathing exercises can help reduce anxiety. They can enable you to stay present and focused, rather than getting overwhelmed by negative thoughts.
Health Tips
Talking to a therapist can provide you with strategies to cope with anxiety, improve self-esteem, and navigate your feelings about this relationship. A therapist can offer a safe space to explore these feelings without judgment. Focus on Self-Improvement: Engaging in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth can be beneficial. This could include physical activities, hobbies, learning new skills, or anything else that makes you feel good about yourself.